Sigyimbin is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, deceitful rhinoceros.

Sigyimbin created energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigyimbin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sigyimbin, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sigyimbin's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Sigyimbin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Sigyimbin's name in vain.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Sigyimbin on top of all buildings.

3. Do not wear blue clothing.

4. Never wear indigo dresses.

5. Retreat if eight dolphins approach from the west.