Mabdosstaf Wigwatbeg Bigbessgen is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, kind hyena.

Mabdosstaf Wigwatbeg Bigbessgen created life five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabdosstaf Wigwatbeg Bigbessgen, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Mabdosstaf Wigwatbeg Bigbessgen, he will destroy your home planet.

Mabdosstaf Wigwatbeg Bigbessgen's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Mabdosstaf Wigwatbeg Bigbessgen's Holy Commandments

1. Mabdosstaf Wigwatbeg Bigbessgen loves monkeys, so they must be respected.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Never paint your neck red.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.