Sitcuss is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, sage zebra.

Sitcuss created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitcuss, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sitcuss, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sitcuss' most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Sitcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not eat lentils.

5. Never wear pink corsets.