Flapsinflagpitpakrutt is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, dishonest dugong.

Flapsinflagpitpakrutt created the universe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapsinflagpitpakrutt, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Flapsinflagpitpakrutt, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flapsinflagpitpakrutt's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Flapsinflagpitpakrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near gulls.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not wear cyan clothing.

4. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Flapsinflagpitpakrutt in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always look after injured hamsters.