Metbesspog is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless hummingbird.

Metbesspog created vertebrates seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Metbesspog, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Metbesspog, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Metbesspog's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Metbesspog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Hide from white dolphins for they are unholy.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Never go into purple rooms.