Spagtonkbeg Hatrilsaw Abfetkop is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthoughtful mole.

Spagtonkbeg Hatrilsaw Abfetkop created the Sunflower Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Spagtonkbeg Hatrilsaw Abfetkop, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Spagtonkbeg Hatrilsaw Abfetkop, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Spagtonkbeg Hatrilsaw Abfetkop's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Spagtonkbeg Hatrilsaw Abfetkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near horses while wearing black scarves and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your back.

2. Never hop near grasshopers.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

5. Always stare at clouds.