Hotrilhat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, compassionate lizard.

Hotrilhat created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hotrilhat, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hotrilhat, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hotrilhat's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Hotrilhat's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not keep three sheep in a large pit.

4. Never chant near snails.

5. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.