Bastrowgess is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, charitable wren.

Bastrowgess created Asia nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastrowgess, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bastrowgess, it will turn you into a frog.

Bastrowgess' most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Bastrowgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near pigs.

2. Never think about special relativity.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near ducks while wearing cyan jumpers.

4. Never bounce in the presence of doves.

5. Always pray immersed in water.