Yartontar is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthoughtful human.

Yartontar created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartontar, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yartontar, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Yartontar's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Yartontar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near gulls while wearing gray trousers and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your face.

2. Retreat if seven great tits approach from the east.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not wear copper on your body.

5. Fast once a month.