Honmotzagbutweebembig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, awe-inspiring armadillo.

Honmotzagbutweebembig created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Honmotzagbutweebembig, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Honmotzagbutweebembig, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Honmotzagbutweebembig's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Honmotzagbutweebembig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick rats.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never bounce in the presence of otters.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Never eat bark.