Flaplikhin is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, sapient lizard.

Flaplikhin created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Flaplikhin, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flaplikhin, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Flaplikhin's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Flaplikhin's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Flaplikhin three times a day.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near great tits while wearing yellow shoes and balancing nine copper spheres on your face.

3. Never paint your feet fawn.

4. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Flaplikhin in the centre of the settlement.

5. Sheep are not to be trusted.