Xuctonvonk is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, intelligent naga.

Xuctonvonk created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuctonvonk, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Xuctonvonk, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Xuctonvonk's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Xuctonvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed oranges to porpoises while wearing mauve hats.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Feed all hungry horses.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.