Veenwotmap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, able pigeon.

Veenwotmap created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veenwotmap, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Veenwotmap, she will turn you into a hamster.

Veenwotmap's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Veenwotmap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Veenwotmap.

3. Hide from turquoise monkeys for they are unholy.

4. Retreat if eight shrews approach from the south.

5. Never think ill of sick tortoises.