Barngovrak is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, caring donkey.

Barngovrak created the planet Jupiter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Barngovrak, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Barngovrak, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Barngovrak's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Barngovrak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never run in the presence of aardvarks.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. You must pray to Barngovrak nine times a day.

5. Never talk about porpoises.