Jatlimtin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, fast unicorn.

Jatlimtin created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatlimtin, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jatlimtin, it will boil you in a big pot.

Jatlimtin's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Jatlimtin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. You must love Jatlimtin.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never think about dark matter.