Ontfaghun is a god.
He takes the form of a very fat, weak
penguin.
Ontfaghun created a down quark eight million years ago.
If you believe in
Ontfaghun, he will make you immortal.
If you do not believe in
Ontfaghun, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.
Ontfaghun's most sacred site is Brancion in France.
Ontfaghun's Holy Commandments1. Worship no other gods but Ontfaghun.
2. Always stare at clouds.
3. Do not kill gulls.
4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.
5. Do not cook food in pots.