Mifappfom is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, narcissistic snail.

Mifappfom created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Mifappfom, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mifappfom, he will think nothing of it.

Mifappfom's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Mifappfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed onions to sharks while wearing shorts.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Feed all hungry birds.

5. You must love Mifappfom.