Sogbugciss is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring guinea pig.

Sogbugciss created humanity four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogbugciss, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sogbugciss, she will be very sad.

Sogbugciss' most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Sogbugciss' Holy Commandments

1. Sogbugciss must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sogbugciss.

3. You must pray to Sogbugciss seven times a day.

4. Never mention porpoises.

5. Do not make images of living things.