Gigbamnig is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, merciless rhinoceros.

Gigbamnig created humankind seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gigbamnig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gigbamnig, he will not care at all.

Gigbamnig's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Gigbamnig's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never feed lots of oranges to grasshopers while wearing mauve scarves.

5. Always wear orange.