Staflipflanved Bellhamzag is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, smart squid.

Staflipflanved Bellhamzag created an electron two million years ago.

If you believe in Staflipflanved Bellhamzag, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Staflipflanved Bellhamzag, she will be very sad.

Staflipflanved Bellhamzag's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Staflipflanved Bellhamzag's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

2. Do not kill eagles.

3. Always help cats.

4. Never talk about gravity near moths while wearing magenta ear rings and balancing nine zinc spheres on your hands.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.