Yartnurltit is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, tranquil seal.

Yartnurltit created the planet Mars two years ago.

If you believe in Yartnurltit, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yartnurltit, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Yartnurltit's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Yartnurltit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt pigs.

2. Always help cats in need.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Pray towards the west.