Absterlag Midappven is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-powerful weasel.

Absterlag Midappven created a bottom quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Absterlag Midappven, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Absterlag Midappven, he will make you grow a tail.

Absterlag Midappven's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Absterlag Midappven's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Absterlag Midappven must be the most important thing in your life.