Hadwadflig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, strong seal.

Hadwadflig created dark energy two years ago.

If you believe in Hadwadflig, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Hadwadflig, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Hadwadflig's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Hadwadflig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never feed lots of melons to goats while wearing red scarves.

5. Hide if seven ants approach from the south.