Japnaddap is a god.
She takes the form of a huge, tiresome
hamster.
Japnaddap created the Andromeda Galaxy eight billion years ago.
If you believe in
Japnaddap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.
If you do not believe in
Japnaddap, she will turn you into a sparrow.
Japnaddap's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.
Japnaddap's Holy Commandments1. Do not stand on grass.
2. Fast once a month.
3. Sheep are not to be trusted.
4. Do not make images of living things.
5. Never talk about stars.