Japnaddap is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, tiresome hamster.

Japnaddap created the Andromeda Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Japnaddap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Japnaddap, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Japnaddap's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Japnaddap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Sheep are not to be trusted.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never talk about stars.