Jopfothin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unjust whale.

Jopfothin created the planet Saturn seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopfothin, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jopfothin, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Jopfothin's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Jopfothin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Never feed figs to aardvarks while wearing kilts.

3. Never hurt grasshopers.

4. Jopfothin loves rats, so they must be honoured.

5. Never go into blue rooms.