Bitkompang is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, awe-inspiring finch.

Bitkompang created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitkompang, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bitkompang, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Bitkompang's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Bitkompang's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never laugh in holy places.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never hurt foxes.