Rakdablen Cadshavkon Nancussyarp is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, awe-inspiring gerbil.

Rakdablen Cadshavkon Nancussyarp created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rakdablen Cadshavkon Nancussyarp, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rakdablen Cadshavkon Nancussyarp, he will refuse to believe in you.

Rakdablen Cadshavkon Nancussyarp's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Rakdablen Cadshavkon Nancussyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Never feed melons to hamsters while wearing violet kilts.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Never look in ponds.