Tigtailwot is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, astonishing wolf.

Tigtailwot created everything that exists two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tigtailwot, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tigtailwot, he will not care at all.

Tigtailwot's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tigtailwot's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine cats approach from the north.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tigtailwot.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never look in ponds.