Rotbumjin is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, compassionate hippopotamus.

Rotbumjin created the world three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rotbumjin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rotbumjin, she will not invite you to parties.

Rotbumjin's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Rotbumjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. You must pray to Rotbumjin five times a day.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.