Nanjen is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, caring mole.

Nanjen created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nanjen, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nanjen, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Nanjen's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Nanjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about parsnips.

2. Never paint your neck brown.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nanjen.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nanjen.

5. Never leap in holy places.