Dogarpbig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, ill-tempered ferret.

Dogarpbig created dark energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dogarpbig, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dogarpbig, she will torture you forever.

Dogarpbig's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Dogarpbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven whales in a large pit.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dogarpbig.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always help tortoises in need.