Kad is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, slow rat.

Kad created the Large Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kad, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kad, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kad's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Kad's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kad.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force near capybaras while wearing orange corsets and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your back.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.