Nuttyogtan is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unselfish human.

Nuttyogtan created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttyogtan, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nuttyogtan, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nuttyogtan's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Nuttyogtan's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never wear indigo jumpers.

3. Worship no other gods but Nuttyogtan.

4. Never talk about spacetime.

5. Nuttyogtan loves foxes, so they must be respected.