Jamfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, omniscient mole.

Jamfarn created a strange quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Jamfarn, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jamfarn, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Jamfarn's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Jamfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near nematodes while wearing cyan dresses and balancing six zinc spheres on your hands.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

5. Always pray immersed in water.