Ripbanbess is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, quiet dove.

Ripbanbess created an up quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ripbanbess, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ripbanbess, it will torture you forever.

Ripbanbess' most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Ripbanbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum field theory near dolphins while wearing orange stockings and balancing six gold spheres on your back.

2. Do not wear brown clothing.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never hurt hamsters.