Hivnarlzen is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, strong crocodile.

Hivnarlzen created the Sombrero Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivnarlzen, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hivnarlzen, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Hivnarlzen's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Hivnarlzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about archaea.

2. Always help snails in need.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never eat apples.