Yarthomfun is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, astonishing swan.

Yarthomfun created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarthomfun, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yarthomfun, it will laugh at you.

Yarthomfun's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Yarthomfun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt seals.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarthomfun.

4. You must love Yarthomfun.

5. Always help eagles.