Betbinrakjat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, witty gerbil.

Betbinrakjat created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betbinrakjat, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Betbinrakjat, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Betbinrakjat's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Betbinrakjat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from red badgers for they are unholy.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Great tits are not to be trusted.

5. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.