Ruttzedcad is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, omniscient gnu.

Ruttzedcad created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttzedcad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ruttzedcad, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Ruttzedcad's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Ruttzedcad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. You must love Ruttzedcad.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.