Fonstragtad is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witless gnu.

Fonstragtad created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonstragtad, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fonstragtad, he will turn you into a snail.

Fonstragtad's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Fonstragtad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of tomatoes to gulls while wearing pink hats.

2. Always help sick sharks.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Never look at moons.