Disslistbit Shavdossgab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, clever gnu.

Disslistbit Shavdossgab created light twelve years ago.

If you believe in Disslistbit Shavdossgab, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Disslistbit Shavdossgab, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Disslistbit Shavdossgab's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Disslistbit Shavdossgab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve ear rings.

2. Never feed lots of garlic to birds while wearing indigo shorts.

3. Always look after injured pigs.

4. Always help goats.

5. Never talk about planets.