Jansakwig is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, flying hyena.

Jansakwig created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jansakwig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jansakwig, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Jansakwig's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Jansakwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

2. Never wear gray hats.

3. Never feed garlic to monkeys while wearing mauve kilts.

4. Frogs are not to be trusted.

5. Never go into pink rooms.