Ditquamnibgeb is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, self-confident owl.

Ditquamnibgeb created an atom six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditquamnibgeb, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ditquamnibgeb, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Ditquamnibgeb's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Ditquamnibgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near swans.

2. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Ditquamnibgeb on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.