Tonklabfomfetlistsatgum is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, tiresome slug.

Tonklabfomfetlistsatgum created the Sol system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonklabfomfetlistsatgum, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tonklabfomfetlistsatgum, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tonklabfomfetlistsatgum's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Tonklabfomfetlistsatgum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never think about optics near geese while wearing magenta ear rings and balancing seven silver spheres on your neck.

4. Always help sick shrews.

5. Do not covet oxen.