Hamgumyat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, emotional mink.

Hamgumyat created a strange quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hamgumyat, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hamgumyat, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Hamgumyat's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Hamgumyat's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

4. Never mention tapirs.

5. Do not listen to music.