Hamdavlun Gofbabquaf is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, calm squirrel.

Hamdavlun Gofbabquaf created the Cigar Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Hamdavlun Gofbabquaf, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hamdavlun Gofbabquaf, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hamdavlun Gofbabquaf's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Hamdavlun Gofbabquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must pray to Hamdavlun Gofbabquaf six times a day.

3. Never think about thermodynamics.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not wear titanium on your body.