Labfosslimhat is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, staggering horse.

Labfosslimhat created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Labfosslimhat, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Labfosslimhat, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Labfosslimhat's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Labfosslimhat's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always look after injured turtles.

3. You must pray to Labfosslimhat six times a day.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.