Queegmapfar is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, selfish mink.

Queegmapfar created life nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegmapfar, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Queegmapfar, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Queegmapfar's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Queegmapfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism.

2. Queegmapfar must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink water in white rooms.

4. Queegmapfar loves geese, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink alcohol.