Padtinstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, awesome manatee.

Padtinstrag created the planet Venus six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padtinstrag, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Padtinstrag, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Padtinstrag's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Padtinstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

3. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

4. Always obey Padtinstrag's priests.

5. Never look in ponds.