Janhubsig is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, thoughtless hedgehog.

Janhubsig created energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Janhubsig, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Janhubsig, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Janhubsig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Janhubsig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near tapirs while wearing pink scarves and balancing seven silicon spheres on your legs.